Often people who live with a great alcoholic spend much any time, not all, of their time looking after the drinker. They worry about once he will arrive home, whether or not he will arrive home. That they worry about what condition he will be in when he is born home, whether he will be in a good mood or ruining for a fight.
Most people who live with an alcoholic find themselves dropping touch with their friends. It does not usually happen quickly, instead it happens over time as you refuse first one invitation, then another. Soon you will discover no invitations to reject any more.
One thing that may help is to ensure that you have a life of your own. As much people who live with alcoholics do, you may have been meeting for your alcoholic and being sure that the world does not know of the problems. This wall in secrecy is a double edged sword.
Lastly it will eliminate the fear of being left all on your own if the relationship finally turns into unsustainable. So if you live with an alcoholic make sure that you enjoy a life for yourself and that you’ve got a network of family and friends that can support you when you need it.
Imagine worrying about him not as much, stopping clearing up after your ex boyfriend and no longer making excuses for him and generally letting him experience the aftermaths of his drinking. Agreed this is not an easy thing to do, particularly if you have been caught up in his drinking for some quite a few years.
It is a wonder that anyone living with a great alcoholic has time to accomplish anything else, other than see recommended to their drinker. Organisations such as Al-anon rightly suggest that anyone whom lives with an intoxicating needs to detach. That is they must stand back from the intoxicating and let him lead his own life.
Your self esteem will increase and your depression and worry levels will decrease. Having interests outside the home as well as the alcoholic will make you extra interesting and will reduce your amounts of resentment. It will help you to produce a support network that could sustain you when things are difficult.
You will find real benefits to having your own life. If you consentrate on something other than your alcohol means then you will spend less time worrying on the subject of him and his behaviour. Research suggests that being departed to fend for their self can bring the reality of his problem home to her.
There may be something that you have got always wanted to do, by way of example you may have wanted to learn more about choosing computers, or learn about images or learn to paint. These are typically things that you can do for you.
On the one side it protects you through the shame and stigma in the problem drinking behaviour. It hides the worst of the anguish, arguments and anxiousness but it also cuts you aloof from the very people that can help, friends.
It is time to improve that situation. It is time for them to, not only accept invitations, nonetheless also to issue some for yourself. It is time to end hiding away and to give up being secretive about the problems that you are facing. It is time for you to stop living in the shadow of the alcoholic and start living for yourself.